Perhaps nothing's terribly romantic or brilliant or dramatic like we were promised. The fact that it's not scary terrifies me beyond any other fear i've known. Maybe there is no climax, no certain or exact point of clarity. I guess I wouldn't want to watch my life on my father's flat screen.
I think that I get so excited by any sort of change because I am just so unhappy where I am and bored with everything around me. It's self destructive how I don't care what it is, as long as it's not what I am right now. I guess I don't take the time to consider that right here might not be so bad.